


You Were the First, You'll be the Last

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:05:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6244537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Fold me up and put me in the drawer next to all of your sexy sweaters.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Were the First, You'll be the Last

Rafael walked down Fifth Avenue with a big smile on his face. He saw Trevor standing in front of the store and if it was possible, his smile grew even bigger.

“Bergdorf’s, Bergdorf’s, Bergdorf’s.” he sang as he took Trevor’s hands.

“Someone is happy.” Trevor smiled.

“Well it is our first date.”

“Rafael, it’s like out 312th date.”

“No, it’s our first date. This is important.”

“That’s why I wanted to bring you someplace special.”

“I love Bergdorf’s.”

“I know you do, hon.”

“So what's the plan?” Rafael asked.

“Manicures and massages.”

“Yes.” 

“Lunch at the café.”

“Ooh yes.”

“And then I thought maybe a little tie shopping.”

“Oh my god, I love you so much.”

“C'mon,” Trevor took his hand and they walked through the revolving door. “Let's get started.”

It was so hard for Rafael to walk through Bergdorf’s and not stop and stare at everything. The men’s fashions were across the street but the place was so beautiful and iconic…he always felt ten again whenever he was in the hallowed halls. His grandmother brought him there for the first time, with his Aunt, when she was going to buy a wedding dress. Actually affording something from there was insane but they wanted to have a wonderful day wedding dress shopping. Rafael sat on the floor and watched the women be fawned over by the staff. 

That’s what money could buy you, an afternoon at Bergdorf Goodman. He knew then that no matter what he would have money. It seemed a bit over the top, even to his ten year old self, but it was a life goal. So many immigrant and first generation Americans had their version of the American dream. Rafael Barba’s wasn’t complete without a trip to Bergdorf’s.

“I think I'm going to try the hot rocks.” He said as he and Trevor walked onto the escalator. “I've heard such good things about them. What are you going to do?”

“Deep tissue for sure. I requested Heidi.”

“I love Heidi.”

“She has the most amazing…the second most amazing…pair of hands.”

“Nice save.” Rafael pinched him. “I’ll just see if Josh is available.”

“And I'm not going to be jealous about that at all. Do you know why?”

“Tell me.”

“Because you belong to me, Mister.”

“I do.” Rafael smiled. “I shamelessly belong to you, Trevor Langan. Fold me up and put me in the drawer next to all of your sexy sweaters. And far away from your ugly ties.”

“Why do I even like you?” Trevor asked standing in awe of everything on the beauty floor. Today was perfect for a refill on all of his products.

“Shall we count the ways? Well, firstly…”

“Here we go.”

000

“How do you feel?” Trevor asked as he cut into his deviled egg.

The couple had a table by the window in Goodman’s Café on the 7th floor with a perfect view of the park across Fifth Avenue. Gray clouds were forming in the sky but that wasn’t ruining their time together. They started with the deviled eggs and seared scallops appetizer before ordering lunch. Rafael had a glass of Chardonnay and Trevor a glass of Riesling, which he preferred when having seafood.

“I feel amazing.” Rafael smiled. “I can still feel the tingles in my shoulders and the nape of my neck from the rocks. Josh’s hands are just as fantastic as I remember. I feel weightless and hope I can keep this going at least until late Monday morning when something inevitably sends me crashing back to the ground. What about you?”

“All of my muscles are relaxed. I actually feel like I could nap for a few hours; that’s a nice feeling.”

“Well if you want to skip tie shopping after lunch I would understand. We lead such busy lives so to actually have the opportunity to take a few hours and drift away…I'd never let that slip by.”

“I'm fine.” Trevor put his hand on top of Rafael’s. “I want to spend this afternoon with you. I’ll nap afterwards.”

“Maybe we can nap afterwards.” 

The ADA smiled as their lunch arrived. The appetizers were cleared and Trevor ordered a glass of Babich Black Label Sauvignon Blanc to go with his Croque Monsieur. Rafael cut a sliver of his organic free range chicken breast, making sure to get some Brussel sprout and rosemary potato on the fork before holding it out for Trevor.

“Open up.” He said.

“Oh, that’s fantastic.” Trevor savored the taste in his mouth. “I'm almost jealous that I didn’t order that.”

“What fun is it ordering the same thing when we can share?”

Trevor cut some ham, a bit of the seasonal greens, and made sure there was gruyere on the fork before holding it out for Rafael.

“The gruyere is the best here.” Rafael hummed the words. “Delicious…delicious.”

“So, a toast.” Trevor took the wine from the server and held up his glass. “To the first of many more Saturday afternoons enjoying the company of my best friend.”

“I love you.” Rafael mouthed, tapping his glass on Trevor’s.

000

Rafael bought five ties, three pocket squares, three sets of monogrammed handkerchiefs, a pair of cufflinks, and five pairs of trouser socks. He was really in his element when shopping for accessories. Trevor just followed him around the store, a happy smile on his face. Rafael tried to maintain some sense of decorum, he was a Harvard-educated, fortysomething man after all, but he loved Bergdorf’s. He loved ties and accessories and pondering aloud which would look best with which suit. He loved the shop girls and guys attending to his every whim and the casual conversation with other men who were there for the same reason he was.

He loved the attention. He even loved spending the money because dammit he had earned it. This was the reward for surviving Jerome Avenue and life with the Barba clan. So when he and Trevor walked out of the department store, Bergdorf’s bags in hand, holding hands, Rafael couldn’t help but whistle a little tune. He wasn’t even going to let the rain bother him. Hailing a cab on Fifth Avenue on a Saturday afternoon with the man he loved…life was perfect.

“Are you still asleep?” he whispered.

“Mostly.” Trevor mumbled.

“Good,” Rafael held his hand to his lips. “I want to talk to you.”

“I'm listening, I promise.”

“I'm going to talk either way; it doesn’t matter.”

“OK babe.”

“When I asked you to take me back you must have thought I lose my mind.” He stroked Trevor’s arm. “I thought I had. I knew what I had been feeling but I also knew there was no way in hell you would ever go there with me again. I didn’t want to ruin what we’d built in spite of how I'd hurt you the first time. But you did take me back. 

“You trusted me. You believed me and believed in me and all I want to do is spend every day making sure that you know it was the right decision. I want to love you, Trevor. I want to make your life better. I want to cuddle on the couch with you and go for bike rides in Central Park and leave this damn town once in a while for some other godforsaken town on the map. 

“I wish I could tell you what this means to me. We had to go through what we went through years ago for it to be right today. I know I hurt you and I am so, so sorry. I hurt too, probably more than I could ever explain. 

“But it won't happen again. This time I'm going to be open and honest. I'm not going to let anyone shame me or make me feel less than, and that includes doing it to myself. I'm going to love you for the whole world to see because you deserve that and so do I. I am so excited about our new life together; I hope you are too.”

“You sweet bastard.” Trevor mumbled, squeezing him.

When they'd come in from their date, Trevor and Rafael went straight back to the bedroom. They kissed and played a bit but then Trevor really did take a nap. It felt so damn good to be fully dressed, all they did was kick off their shoes, and fall asleep in bed with Rafael. He loved that his boyfriend never objected to being the little spoon. He loved how perfectly Rafael fit in his embrace. He loved inhaling the slight scent of coconut in the shampoo that Rafael used. 

He loved their fingers laced together and their legs tangled. It had been perfect in his late 30s (even when it wasn’t), it was perfect in his mid-40s, and Trevor was sure it would be perfect in his 70s. There were always obstacles and hurdles but they were right for each other. The timing was off then but it wasn’t now. Trevor took Rafael back because it was time. He loved him, never stopped loving him, and now he knew that Rafael hadn’t really stopped either.

“I had such a good time today.” Rafael turned in his arms. “Nap included.”

“I'm still napping.” Trevor didn’t even open his eyes.

“Don’t you want to wake up and pay attention to me?”

“That’s a two part question, and the answer is both no and yes.”

“Tell me which you're answering yes to.” Rafael began to unbutton Trevor’s black shirt. He placed tiny kisses all along his neck and the underside of his chin.

“I’ll give you three guesses.” Trevor tightened his grip on Rafael’s hips.

“Say it, cuchura.”

“Mmm, make love to me.”

It had been two and half weeks since they reunited but hadn’t been sexually intimate. There wasn’t a need to rush, they had plenty of time. Rafael had been hornier than hell, yearned for Trevor almost like he never had before, but he stayed good. He didn’t want to be good this afternoon. He wanted Trevor to grip his back and cry out his name. He wanted to thrust in and out of Trevor’s eager body while murmuring dirty thoughts in Spanish. He wanted Trevor’s long legs wrapped around him and for their sweaty bodies to create electricity that lingered in the air for days afterward.

“Be gentle.” Trevor caressed Rafael’s face.

“Always.” He kissed the palm of Trevor’s hand. “Do you love me?”

Trevor nodded, lifting Rafael’s blue v-neck over his head. It was time to stop talking and start loving. He was so eager, trembling as he and Rafael undressed and touched each other. It had been so long. 

When they were just friends, there were more than a few times they'd fallen into bed together. It was well understood that it was just something that happened and it wasn’t going to change their friendship. All these years and they were never far apart…not physically, mentally, or even intimately. Now they never would be again.

***


End file.
